A wonderful reviewer made an observation that I would love to discuss. The observation was on Liam’s Lessons and this is from Marybeth’s review:
“… Jocelyn is very stressed by her work. She is overwhelmed. Kelli tricks her into seeing Liam again and he just takes over. Jocelyn is torn by her feelings. She both wants him to take over and doesn’t want him to. I’m quite sure this is a problem a lot of women in this day have. Our society says to be independent. But, our minds and souls crave submission…”
QUESTION: Do you see this as true and in what way. If not, why not?
My take on this:
Because I am a woman I will take it from my perspective.
Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it, is never more truly born out than in the head of household-submission issue.
There are so many levels of submission and so many shades of color that to define it outside of myself would be wrong. That being said, I believe that we as women have taken our issues and created a huge mess. Yes, I want equal pay for equal work. Yes, I want to be eligible for promotion, consideration, valued as the white anglo saxon protestant stereotypical dominant culture. (There are many who think that is a myth as well in today’s world).
But do I want equality in my home, marriage, life connections with my husband? Hell no. Are you kidding me? My responsibility to be all, do all, ends at the door of my home. I would be a mess if I had to carry that take charge, “I got this” persona into the home and maintain. Nope. I want to give over to my husband who considers me in all big decisions and most little ones.
I don’t want a man or my husband to do everything for me, in fact, I am very independent and self assured in my professional career. I am damn good at what I do and have worked hard to get to where I am am today. However, I love to let him take over when I am tired or frustrated and feeling like the world has decided I am it’s new whipping boy (girl) that he is just there for me.
He knows me so well that he can see signs and my tells that alert him to my limits and when I am about to meet them. I love that he just knows me so well that he can identify the causes and the correlations between my mood and what that tells him about me. He checks in with me often.
I don’t always want to tell him things and I can rest assured that even if I don’t disclose he already has an idea and will draw it out, address it, address me and then FIX the PROBLEM if it is in his power to fix. If it isn’t, then he fixes ME so that I can survive it.
To me that is submission. It isn’t just a bedroom thing, it is a life thing. No, I don’t wait on him hand and foot, he doesn’t want that. No, I don’t agree to do,say, be whatever he wants, we don’t want that, but it is allowing him to be the head of our home in a loving and intuitive way because he makes me his business.
And I DO crave it. I believe in letting go and letting GOD lead… in my marriage, I believe in letting go and letting hubby lead. And oh what a relief it truly is.
So, That is where I stand on…
And on blushing Books’ site tonight. This is where I stand: #5!!!